That Night, This Night
by ShutUpAndPull
Summary: A s7 one-shot for the following prompt: "Castle finds the letter that Royce sent now that they're married. They talk about their feelings etc and adorableness happens."


_**That Night, This Night**_

"You really didn't have to come with me for this, Castle," Kate said, sliding her key into her apartment's lock for the last time. "I told you, it's just small stuff and a few boxes left. The movers already took the rest." She pushed the door open and stepped inside with him in tow, a feeling of wistfulness rushing through her with the resulting breeze.

Rick secured his hands at her hips and kissed the back of her exposed neck. "I know I didn't have to. I wanted to." He moved around her and into the empty space, his eyes taking in its bare walls and vacant floors. "I know how much you loved this place, and I loved it, too. It wouldn't feel right not saying goodbye to it with you. We had a lot of moments here."

"We did," Kate said nostalgically, setting her keys on the kitchen island. "I found you here." There was a soft but discernible smile in her voice. "Or, I finally allowed myself to," she quickly corrected. "And, I almost lost you here." She met his gaze and drifted towards him. "I'm grateful every day that I didn't, husband," she said, rising up onto her toes and wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Greatest knock at my door, ever, wife," Rick said with a peck of her lips. "Let's not think about that other thing, though. That's a moment I'd rather not remember." He pulled her in tight and she came willingly. "Want to know my favorite memory here?" he asked. "Well, besides this one, since I'll finally have all of you with me."

"Am I going to regret saying yes?" she said, eyeing him warily.

"Come on, have you ever regretted saying yes to me?" Her look said it all and he backtracked. "Okay, forget I asked that. I was actually thinking of our first Valentine's Day together, when you surprised me with a drawer of my own. To this very day, that was one of the greatest gifts anyone's ever given me."

Kate hummed contentedly with the reminder of that night. "Yes, and I seem to recall you being very, very thankful," she said wickedly.

"Well, that, and I did have that whole earring fiasco to make up for."

"Poor Gates, I know how much she wishes she could be yours," Kate said.

"If only women would just admit when they want me, imagine all the time saved," Rick replied with a shrug.

She smirked and leaned in. "Oh, well, I have no problem admitting that I want you. It's just too bad I don't have a bed, anymore."

Rick pulled back and glanced down at the floor. "Maybe we could-"

"Finish packing up the rest of this stuff so we can go home and do it without needing a trip to the chiropractor?" Kate jumped in.

"Absolutely, yes," he nodded. "That's just what I was going to say. Box me, baby. Let's do this."

 **xxxx**

Having left Rick in the office to box up her paperwork and files, Kate was off in the bedroom, tending to the clothes that remained. She already spent the majority of her time at the loft, and had for some time, but she could still feel the flutter of butterflies in her stomach as the permanence of the move settled in. Pausing to take stock of her progress, she suddenly noticed how quiet the apartment had become.

"That looks an awful lot like reading and not packing, Castle," she said, startling him to a jump. "What the heck are you doing out here, besides snooping, obviously?"

He fumbled for a response, utterly caught. "No, I, it just-"

"Give me that," she snapped. "What is this?"

"It just fell out, just now. It was folded up and stuck in between some other papers. I'm sorry, I didn't really read anything." He watched with confusion as her face softened, as her expression turned. Her eyes scanned the page and he couldn't help but wonder.

"Royce," she whispered, seemingly unaware she'd actually verbalized the thought.

Rick let her be for a long moment before he asked. "Are you okay, Kate?"

She folded the letter back up at its creases and curled it in her palm. "I am, yeah. It's just been a really long time since I read any of that. I didn't even realize it was in here."

"It's from Royce?"

She looked at him curiously. "How did you know that?" she asked, tucking the paper into her pocket.

"You said his name while you were looking at it."

"Did I?" She stepped around a couple of boxes into the free space on the floor beside him and sat. "It's from Royce, yeah. He was carrying it with him when he died."

Rick reached out and touched her knee. "I really wasn't snooping, I promise," he told her. "And, we don't have to talk about it. I know how important your relationship with him was to you, and I'm glad you have something from him that you can still hold onto."

"I've seen those words a hundred times," Kate said, passing over his concession. "He knew there was something. He saw it so clearly. It's almost funny, you know. He was around us for such a short time, but he saw so clearly."

"What was it he saw, something with us?"

"Do you remember that night in L.A., Castle? We were sitting on the couch talking after dinner, and there was something between us that happened. I don't know if calling it a moment is the best way to describe it, but it just felt like we were different together, somehow." She turned and looked at him before she went on. "Do you remember that?"

Rick exhaled a sound he himself would hardly be able to interpret. "I'm sorry. You're asking me if I remember the night that, up until that point, I'd never wanted anything more in my life than to kiss you? That was one of the many nights I knew I was in love with you, and, yes, I remember it all the time."

Kate smiled as her cheeks filled with pink. "I knew it, too," she confessed, something she'd never shared with him before.

"Yeah, no kidding, I don't think I made much of a secret of it, did I. Apparently my famed poker face only works at the poker table," he conceded.

She dropped her head softly onto his shoulder. "That's not what I meant, Castle. I meant I already knew I was in love with you, too, and so did Royce. His letter, this letter, helped me begin to come to terms with that, with something I'd tried to hide from for a long time."

He pressed his lips to her head and left a kiss. "Watching you walk away from me that night, watching that door close and knowing I had to be so close to you and couldn't have you, was excruciating. God, you looked at me on that couch, Kate, and I couldn't believe how lucky I was just to be on the same planet as you. If I'd known you loved me, too, I don't know what the hell I would've done."

"I actually came back out for you, or for me, I don't know. I wasn't sure what the hell I was doing, either, honestly. I just wanted something that night, even though I knew I really wasn't ready for whatever that something was."

He traced a fingertip across her lips and down her chin. "I wish I'd been there to see you, even if that's all I got to do, even if you didn't take a step beyond the door." She took his hand in hers and kissed his palm. "I hate that I didn't see you," he whispered.

"Well, I think you saw plenty at the pool the next day, though," she teased.

"Yes, and I was absolutely looking and I have zero remorse." They laughed together and then both fell quiet. "Even though it ended the way it did, I'm glad we had that night," he said. "We might not have this one without it."

She turned and kissed him. "And I'm glad I'm not going to miss this place alone. Thank you for loving me in it."

"Anywhere and everywhere," he said.

"So, let's finish this thing so we can find a bed," Kate told him, pushing herself up from the floor. "Maybe I'll even show you some of the things I was thinking about in my room that night in L.A." Rick began furiously picking up papers and tossing them into the boxes. "Good thing I didn't leave you alone to pack up my closet, Castle," she said as she began to walk away. "There are some things in there you may never have recovered from."

"That's, I, can we please open that box when we get home?" he called out after her, his imagination already racing.

"Pack, Castle, pack," she hollered with a grin and disappeared back into the bedroom.


End file.
